Monday, January 28

Romantic Adventure: Based on a True Story

So I’m getting into the incredibly bad habit of drinking coffee at midnight and then being wired for about 4 hours before I crash and get about half a night’s sleep before a full school day. Bad idea. Oddly enough though I do some of my best work during those hours.

I was reading Ryan’s blog a few minutes ago, and something he said made my fried mind think twice. He said he had considered Christianity to be a romantic adventure.

He’s right.

Has anyone else heard the story of that far away land where there is a beautiful princess and a really bad guy and he lays siege to the kingdom and all sorts of evil things are happening and a really brave courageous prince comes riding in and fights to win the kingdom back and restores peace in all the land and falls in love with the princess and they reign for years and years in prosperity and triumph and wisdom? (hmm not sure if Ryan would have gone that far… )

But actually this life is an adventure. There’s a big battle going on all around us. I think deep down many of us have the desire to be part of an adventure in life, to do something big, to join a cause, a war, a campaign, and truly come alive as we fight for it. Christianity is such an amazing example of this:

First, there is a kingdom. It’s the kingdom of God. It can exist in the heart of every person. Next, there is an incredibly powerful bad guy named Satan who wants nothing more than to see this kingdom destroyed. He kills, assaults, maims, devours, and destroys. He is real. He has an army of soldiers – demons. However, the good guy, God, is ultimately much stronger than the bad guy. He has unlimited wisdom and strength and resources. He calls us to join him. To take up our crosses, and put on his armor and join him in the greatest battle of all time. This battle transcends this temporary life. The war is real. The results, either glorious or devastating, are eternal.

There’s a quote from Captivating that I love: Your life is a love story set in the midst of a life-and-death battle. Jesus fights on your behalf and on behalf of those you love. He asks you to join him.

Damn straight. This isn’t a joke. This isn’t fake. This isn’t some game we play.

Our enemy is real. Remember Eddie’s stories at camp? He was attacked. Not the type of attack where you wake up one morning and you’re tired of going to college (which is fixing to be in about 5 hours for me lol), the type of attack where you wake up and watch as everything in your life is taken from you. It takes a powerful enemy to do that.

I was thinking one night about the whole “reaching out to people” thing, when I realized something. No matter how much I attempt to influence people on this campus, to study the Bible with them, to have a positive and uplifting effect, to hang out and show them God’s love, there always seem to be ten or twenty or thirty more people in their life who are waiting to do the exact opposite!! People who want to lead them away from Christ, who want to influence them for ulterior motives, who want to lead them into sin and immorality. (To say nothing of TV or the media or society in general.)

At first, this was just really depressing. Then I was plain furious. How are we expected to fight when the odds are so overwhelmingly not in our favor?!! It’s not fair God!” My heart cried out, “You should make the playing field even for us.”

Unfortunately, arguing with God doesn’t usually get very far. And this blog wasn’t supposed to be depressing, it was supposed to be about how neat it is that we can participate in a real adventure, so let me try again:

We are needed. The battle is real. What we do matters, and there is much to be done. The hour is late (literally at this point haha). This life is a chapter in the ultimate, true-story fairy tale of an amazing good God and the courageous princes and princesses who receive from him the strength to pick up a sword and follow him in rescuing a kingdom and defeating a terrible enemy.

Wednesday, January 23

Susceptible to physical or emotional injury; capable of being wounded

Why does life hurt so much sometimes? Why do I sigh in heartache when my ideas and wishes and desires that I share get stepped on?

Anytime I invite someone to be a part of my life, I am taking a risk. A risk that he or she may say no, that my gesture may not get returned, that my invitation may be rejected, that my love may not be reciprocated. One of the scarier things I’ve done recently is reaching out to freshman at the beginning of the school year, offering to be their friend and help them get to know our school. I’m going out on a limb and I have no idea how they’ll respond to this.

Being vulnerable is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don’t want it. When we love, we give the other person the power in the relationship. They can do what they like with our love. When we love, we put ourselves out there, we expose ourselves, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. If we are serious about loving someone, we must surrender our wish to manipulate the relationship.

Vulnerability is hard. Scary. Lonely sometimes. Jesus is the ultimate example of this.

Jesus is God being vulnerable. Naked, wounded, and hanging on a cross, asking the question, “What will you do with me? Will you accept me or reject me?” It’s God making the first move and then waiting for our response. It’s God holding his hand out and then waiting to see if we will take it or laugh at it.

In the most stunning act of love and self-sacrifice and vulnerability, our Lord hung on the cross, offering his everything to people who had a track record of hating him.

I don’t think he thought everyone would accept his offer of life and love. There have been many people dedicated to God throughout the years, but there have been many more people who ultimately, completely, absolutely rejected Jesus. But the fact that some people would reject him didn’t stop him from offering to everyone, knowing there would be some who would accept him.

This is incredible. Could it be that we are called to be ready to offer ourselves, our friendship, our love to the entire world? Not just the people we know will reciprocate it? Again, this is super scary. But we’re not alone in this.

If you have ever had your heart broken by someone, you know how God feels. If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels. If you have ever given yourself to someone and they responded, they reciprocated with a love of their own, you know how God feels. Why? Because this is exactly what God does for us!

The cross is God’s way of saying, “I know what it’s like – I know how you feel.” The cross is God taking on flesh and blood and saying, “Me too.” You see, we have a God who knows what being vulnerable feels like, who knows what taking a risk in loving someone is like. God chooses to be vulnerable to us. Love is risky for God too. But he keeps going, keeps offering, keeps loving, keeps risking. And if God can continue to risk, then maybe we can too.

I especially believe this is important for women in today’s world.

The classic novel A Tale of Two Cities creates a beautiful beautiful portrait of a young lady who treats the valueless, fallen men in her life with compassion and love, opening her heart to them, believing in them instead of belittling them, recalling them to lives of purpose and strength. The story ultimately revolves around a worthless bum who is the unsuspecting recipient of this girl’s love and mercy, and how his heart is so changed by her actions that at the novel’s end, we find him forging an incredible, sacrificial plan to provide for the young woman’s wellbeing by nobly, heroically giving up his own life.

Never have such little black words printed tiny on the musty page made me cry so much. How can I be this type of woman? How can I live my life after the pattern of my Lord, taking risks in love and choosing to be vulnerable and inviting and loving to the people of this world that no one else will even look at?

A man reflects the strength, the wildness, the protection offered by a mighty God. But a woman is meant to be the incarnation of the part of God that is beautiful, captivating, inviting, lovely, relational, merciful, tender. And vulnerable.

A woman who unveils her beauty and love and friendship is inviting others to life. She risks being vulnerable – showing her true heart and inviting others to share theirs. She is not demanding, but she is hopeful. Her beauty is a glimpse into the heart of God.

You see, ultimately a woman invites us to know God. To experience through her that God is merciful. That he is tender and kind. That God longs for us – to be known by us and to know us. She invites us to experience that God is good, deep, lovely, alluring, and captivating.

Of course this is not easy. To offer and be selfless and to take a chance in loving those who may not reciprocate is hard. Once again, we have a God who understands this and sympathizes with us.

Jesus offered like no other, and many many rejected him. In those moments or seasons when vulnerability hurts, God’s invitation is to bring our sorrow to him. Not to shut down with, “I’ll never try that again.” But to keep our hearts open and alive, and find refuge and healing in his love. Ultimately, that’s the only way we’ll succeed in being vulnerable to the world.

(Many ideas and text from this post were borrowed from Chapter 8 of Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge, and Chapter 5 of Sex God, by Rob Bell. Many thanks to these authors who are much more skilled than I.)

Monday, January 7

Special Intel Report No. 558b

INTERNAL, Security Level 5 Clearance Required
EYES ONLY


This top secret report will summarize the plans and procedures as regards the organization Alpha Beta Fun.

Mission Objective: to engage the populace of UTD in fun-filled ways at various relationship-promoting venues,

Agents on Task: Bill Rohleder, Josh Mello, Jamie Smith, Eric Anderson, Christa Kenyon, Amanda Roese, Charlie Martin

Collaborators: Hayley Tiefenthaler, Travis Jones,

Additional Info: alphabetafun@gmail.com, 817.995.9879, utdallas.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6199351355, utdallas.edu/student/dev/orgguide/

Mission Procedures:
1.
Pictionary Tournament and Game Night. A group-centered Pictionary play-off, and various other games, complete with snacks. Location: Galaxy Room. Equipment Necessary: Games and food. Estimated Time of Completion: Wednesday, February 6th, 7pm to 10pm, pending confirmation of reservation details. Status: Terminated.

2. Soccer Play-day. A semi-competitive afternoon of soccer and other field games, outfitted with refreshments and sustenance. Location: Intramural Fields. Equipment Necessary: Soccer gear, table, water cooler and food. Estimated Time of Completion: Saturday, January 26th, 2pm to 4 pm, pending confirmation of reservation details. Status: a smashing success.

3. Swing Dance Workshop. An instructive and free-style period of swing dancing. Location: Activity Center Auxiliary Room. Equipment Necessary: Nametags, audio equipment, playlist, instructors. Estimated Time of Completion: February 23rd, pm. Status: T minus 3 weeks.

4. Cookies at the Pool. Status: Pending warmer weather.

5. Night at the Rangers Game. Status: Pending additional information.

Mission Funding: Through Student Organization Forum (SOF) Requests for Funds and subsequent reimbursement,

Mission Communication: Agents and Collaborators will formulate best outline to involve people from other organizations and at random, and to generate spirit, and to inform others of events happening,

Mission Requirements: SOF Meetings, subsequent planning for engaging events.

Tuesday, January 1

Pursuing a Relationship. Part 1

One of my bestest friends and I met as seventh graders. That was a long time ago. I think our friendship broke the mold. Of course, spending massive amounts of time around each other didn’t hurt. We played little junior high basketball together. We were in class together all throughout high school. We both were on our high school newspaper staff. We worked at each other’s jobs. We went roadtriping to scary places in west Texas (hm good story there). Our friendship was fun, it was deep, it was sincere, and it was significant.

Then a year and a half ago we went to different colleges. And that was weird. Being together wasn’t easy anymore. We each had busy lives in our respective worlds. We didn’t get to talk and hang out and have fun and cry and pray together everyday. We definitely had to drive more than ten minutes to see each other.

But I love her.

So I do my best to keep her in my life. We do phone calls, and emails, we hang out when we’re in the same town. A couple of times we’ve just packed a bag and gotten lost for a weekend (not literally of course, but almost… west Texas is pretty big). I know what’s going on with her, and she knows what’s going on with me. Spending time with her is something I now have to protect.

Now think about someone you love. Someone you truly love.

Even when life gets full, we make time for those people, don’t we? We’re so busy, but that never keeps us from hanging out. Or when I have a date (hypothetically speaking of course since all boys are gross... jk), I make time for that. I write it down in my calendar to make sure I won’t forget it. I look forward to it (provided that the gentleman in question is perfect in every way... haha) and plan what I’m going to wear and say and do, etc. If someone asks me to do something that Friday, I’ll tell them I’m sorry I can’t because I have plans. Spending time with –insert cliché anonymous male name here– is something I have to protect.

Here’s the kicker – the friendship I can generate with any female or male in this world will ultimately pale in comparison to the companionship my amazing savior can give me.
Haha yet I fail so terribly to protect that friendship. The one that should be my most important friendship usually gets less of me than all of my other friendships.

But I want to change that. I want a passionate blossoming relationship with my lord. That means time. That means work. That means getting up earlier, staying up later, or not taking a nap. That means saying no more often. That means writing it down in my calendar, like I would a date. That means going to the park, or taking a walk, or just going for a drive to get away from things. That means turning off my phone. That means turning the rap music to worship music, or better yet, just turning it off. This means using my energy and resources to pursue my God where he may be found, giving him my best, not the time and brainpower I have left over.

I have a busy life. So does everybody. And that's an excuse to push away our most important friendship with our heavenly father. But you make time for what’s important to you.
And I love him. So I’m going to try my best.